5:30 I wake up. I would normally get back to sleep at this time but I suddenly remember what day it is. MY LAST DAY! I get myself all excited and riled up, soon realising that the chance of getting back to sleep is now nought. 5:45 I decide to go and shower. Last ever […]
More7:55 I wake up and get ready for the day. 8:15 For breakfast this morning I have hot shreddies and grapefruit juice followed by PB and choc spread toast and a coffee. Before I would have been too scared to have PB and choc spread after being told off yesterday but today I felt stronger […]
More5:45 I am woken and weighed. I’m still a healthy weight! Get in there. Last weigh-in ever! (Apart from Monday but I’m not counting that). 6:00 I try to go back to sleep but I can’t stop thinking about how it’s only 4 more days! Today should be relatively busy so fingers crossed it goes […]
More7:55 I wake up. I had really, really weird dreams last night. I shudder thinking about them, lol. I get dressed and get my meds. 8:15 For brekkie this morning I have 4 hot weetabix, and a mix of grapefruit and orange juice (thought I would spice things up). This is followed by 2 slices […]
More5:45 A nurse is knocking at my door. What do they want? It’s not Monday or Thursday so I can’t be being weighed… But I am. They tell me yesterday’s weight must have been inaccurate so they need to do it again today. I’m not really worried about it being below healthy but it does […]
More7:55 I wake up, brush my teeth and get ready for the day. I can’t believe it was only a few weeks ago that I was barely sleeping at all and it would have been unheard of for me to sleep until past 7, but now I set my alarm for 7:55 and that’s me! […]
More7:55 Day 30 (technically 31). Wow. I wake up, have a shower, brush my teeth and get my meds. 8:15 I opt for weetabix this morning and have grapefruit juice, a coffee and peanut butter and choccy spread toast. 9:00 I facetime Mum. 9:30 I do my makeup and make a video. It feels weird […]
More7:55 I shower and wash my hair. I get my meds and get sorted for the day. 8:15 Breakfast time. I have grapefruit juice and hot shreddies as per, then, because it’s Friday that means toast rotation. Today the alternative to toast is a teacake. EW. It is so gross but luckily I manage to […]
More6:00 I am woken up and weighed. It has gone up but I’m still not at a healthy weight yet. Ugh. 6:10 I think about how long I think I’ll be here for, working out the numbers in my head, then go back to sleep. 7:55 I get up, quickly shower and brush my teeth. […]
More7:55 I get up, get dressed and get ready for the day. I ask a nurse if I can get the stuff (bigger clothes and a book) that Mum brought in 3 days ago which are due to come out of quarantine today. They tell me to wait. 8:05 I go for meds but I’m […]
More7:55 I get up, get dressed, wash my face and have a shower. 8:15 Breakfast today is cereal rotation so muesli, toast with PB and choccy spread then of course grapefruit juice and coffee. I think about how much I want a hot chocolate. I can’t wait to get home and have as many as […]
More7:55 I shower, get dressed, brush my teeth and get my meds. 8:15 For breakfast I have shreddies, grapefruit juice and then toast with peanut butter and chocolate spread and a tea. Here is a dingbat from today, can you get it? (I thought this one was a bit rogue, personally). 9:00 I nap (and […]
More7:55 I wake up, shower, get dressed (into my new vintage short dungarees and a white T-shirt) and brush my teeth. 8:15 I go to breakfast and have bran flakes, grapefruit juice, toast with crunchy peanut butter and a coffee. I get on well with the new patient on my table and she tells me […]
More6:30 I am woken up for optionals. I grunt because I can’t be bothered to go and wasn’t planning on it today. Optionals. OPTION-als. My option is no, thanks. 7:45 I wake up, get dressed and brush my teeth. I look in the mirror at my skin. It’s painful, red and pretty bad. I’m on […]
More5:45 I am woken to be weighed. My weight is up again and it makes me excited. Not long now, I tell myself. 6:00 I try and go back to sleep but know I won’t. I have a shower and wash my hair. I clean the hair out of the shower and make a point […]
MoreHey everyone, thought I would take a little break today from the usual Diaries format to let you know what happened at my CPA today. Sadly, the main thing is I probably won’t be able to get home for my birthday. This has really upset me but I’m trying to come to terms with it. […]
More12:36 I can’t sleep. 3:30 I managed to sleep. Until now. One by one my pictures are falling off my wall. This has been happening now for about 20 minutes but I’m too lazy to actually get up and take them all down. Instead, I wait, hoping that each photo falling is the last and […]
More5:45 I am woken up and weighed. I see the number and work out in my head how long it would take to reach my target BMI. I feel excited but sad. I try and go back to sleep but can’t. My mind is too busy. 6:30 I go to optionals and have a cup […]
More7:45 Wake up. 8:15 For breaky I have 4 weetabix, toast with PB and jam and a coffee. 9:00 I am playing animal crossing and FINALLY my island gets the 3 star rating which means the concert will take place tomorrow. I’m overjoyed. I know immediately when this happens that it will go on my […]
More8:00 Wake up and take meds. 8:15 For breakfast I have shreddies, toast with butter and jam and a coffee. A nurse tells me off for not having juice but I had finished it before she arrived. I’m embarrassed. She then tells me off for not putting milk in my coffee. I tell her I […]
More7:50 I am woken for meds. I forgot to put my usual alarm on. 8:15 For breakfast I decide to have coco pops. This is a massive deal. I have been too scared to have them and it is the first time ever I’ve actually had a bowl of them. I have them warm and […]
More5:45 I am woken up and weighed. I see the number and I’m shocked at the rate at which I’m gaining. It makes me scared but also happy because it means I’ll be out of here sooner. Speaking of, I’m already scared for my CPA on Wednesday. (A CPA is like the CTM on Mondays, […]
More7:30 I shower and get dressed. 8:15 Breakfast time. I (self-serve) a double bowl of shreddies (meal plan increase yay) and 2 slices of toast, one with butter and jam and the other with peanut butter. I get told off because I have only used half of the butter packet. I have only used half […]
More7:20 I’m woken for meds. 7:45 I brush my teeth, get dressed and strip my bed. 8:15 Breakfast. Hot shreddies (cereal rotation day as Tuesday), grapefruit juice then one toast with PB and another with choccy spread. I consider going for jam but I worry I won’t like it as much as the chocolate spread […]
More5:45 I am woken up and weighed. 6:00 I read for a bit and snooze. I worry about my CTM later on today. Only 4 hours. 7:40 My alarm goes off. I go and shower and get dressed. 8:15 Breakfast. Hot weetabix, grapefruit juice, peanut butter toast x2. The tables have moved round so that […]
MoreHello everyone. Thought I would post an update regarding my decision to leave or stay. I have thought about it so much and have finally realised that staying is the right thing to do. My options in the end were either to stay and find it impossibly hard and be upset temporarily, or get no […]
MoreHey everyone, there is no usual diary entry for yesterday I’m afraid as I had one of the hardest days ever and just didn’t feel up to writing at any point. I’m really sorry but hopefully I can get back into it today and try and explain a bit of what’s been happening. I hope […]
MoreSidenote: I don’t want to go into too much detail about specific patients and nurses in the day-to-day diaries because I’ve recently become aware that some people are reading them! PS. Hi Bronnie 😉 05:45 I am woken and weighed. I know I won’t fall asleep again after this so I shower and wash my […]
More5:30 I am woken up to be weighed. I groan and the nurse laughs at me. I have to go to the toilet with the nurse standing at the door to make sure I’m not water-loading. I’m weighed. I go back to bed but don’t fall asleep again. 8:23 Breakfast. I really push the boat […]
More07:00 OMG. It can’t be. I’ve read it wrong. 7?! I haven’t slept past 5 in months. Today is going to be a good day. 07:10 I wash my face and have a “shower”. I get dressed. 07:30 Meds. The nurse on duty is the one who told me when I self-discharged during my previous […]
More05:11 I wake up. Why do I always wake up so early? This is annoying because it means the day will seem longer. 06:00 I realise I have nearly played animal crossing for an hour. I decide to go and have a shower. 06:25 That shower cannot be classed as a shower. It’s literally just […]
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leith’s recovery 