leithgc
The Inpatient Diaries: Day 31
7:55 I wake up, brush my teeth and get ready for the day. I can’t believe it was only a few weeks ago that I was barely sleeping at all and it would have been unheard of for me to sleep until past 7, but now I set my alarm for 7:55 and that’s me! […]
MoreNineteen life lessons for nineteen years.
Hey! Thought I would do a post on 19 lessons I’ve learnt this year as tomorrow it’s my 19th birthday! Writing this post really made me reflect on how far I’ve come and I’m proud of myself. Although this year has been the hardest ever, and hopefully the hardest I will ever have, I’m glad […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 30
7:55 Day 30 (technically 31). Wow. I wake up, have a shower, brush my teeth and get my meds. 8:15 I opt for weetabix this morning and have grapefruit juice, a coffee and peanut butter and choccy spread toast. 9:00 I facetime Mum. 9:30 I do my makeup and make a video. It feels weird […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 29
7:55 I shower and wash my hair. I get my meds and get sorted for the day. 8:15 Breakfast time. I have grapefruit juice and hot shreddies as per, then, because it’s Friday that means toast rotation. Today the alternative to toast is a teacake. EW. It is so gross but luckily I manage to […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 28
6:00 I am woken up and weighed. It has gone up but I’m still not at a healthy weight yet. Ugh. 6:10 I think about how long I think I’ll be here for, working out the numbers in my head, then go back to sleep. 7:55 I get up, quickly shower and brush my teeth. […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 27
7:55 I get up, get dressed and get ready for the day. I ask a nurse if I can get the stuff (bigger clothes and a book) that Mum brought in 3 days ago which are due to come out of quarantine today. They tell me to wait. 8:05 I go for meds but I’m […]
MoreOn Magic, Manifestation and Mind Chatter
Tonight I’ve been thinking and you know what? I believe in magic. I see it existing around me all the time. Although the tricks can be explained logically and by something really ordinary and boring, I’d rather not ruin the fun. I’m only now learning to accept the fact that most people fill their days […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 26
7:55 I get up, get dressed, wash my face and have a shower. 8:15 Breakfast today is cereal rotation so muesli, toast with PB and choccy spread then of course grapefruit juice and coffee. I think about how much I want a hot chocolate. I can’t wait to get home and have as many as […]
MoreMY PLANS FOR RECOVERY!
I thought I would dedicate a whole blog post to my recovery bucket list because its a topic I LOVE thinking about and it really does bring me so much joy. During my previous admission I made a book called “Reasons to Recover” which basically is a scrapbook of photos of things I want to […]
MoreLetting go, feeling queasy and learning to sing again.
Yesterday I realised I had forgotten how to sing. Now, I don’t mean singing as in opera, or even in any sort of tune, I mean just singing because you feel like it. Singing when you’re in the shower, in the car, or when a catchy song is stuck in your head. I hadn’t done […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 24
7:55 I shower, get dressed, brush my teeth and get my meds. 8:15 For breakfast I have shreddies, grapefruit juice and then toast with peanut butter and chocolate spread and a tea. Here is a dingbat from today, can you get it? (I thought this one was a bit rogue, personally). 9:00 I nap (and […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 23
7:55 I wake up, shower, get dressed (into my new vintage short dungarees and a white T-shirt) and brush my teeth. 8:15 I go to breakfast and have bran flakes, grapefruit juice, toast with crunchy peanut butter and a coffee. I get on well with the new patient on my table and she tells me […]
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How joy and peanut butter are basically the same thing, plus the impermanence of living.
Evening lovely people. I was on my ground leave today and a wonderful thought came into my head. To enjoy something, you simply have to add joy to that thing. Joy is therefore the same as peanut butter – add it to anything and it will be a million times better than it was before. […]
MoreANOREXIA Q&A PART 2
I thought I’d do another question and answer post as my first one was so popular and people still hold many misconceptions about the illness and treatment. Through this post I hope to shed some light onto the reality of anorexia and being an inpatient and also help others to feel less alone in their […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 22
6:30 I am woken up for optionals. I grunt because I can’t be bothered to go and wasn’t planning on it today. Optionals. OPTION-als. My option is no, thanks. 7:45 I wake up, get dressed and brush my teeth. I look in the mirror at my skin. It’s painful, red and pretty bad. I’m on […]
MoreOn patience (not patients) and good things to come.
Congrats! I have just popped up to grant you the gift of an abundance of patience. Use it now, or later, or much, much later. It’s up to you entirely. This special donation allows you to explore the option of waiting a long time whilst being at peace. You may even already have it, if […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 21
5:45 I am woken to be weighed. My weight is up again and it makes me excited. Not long now, I tell myself. 6:00 I try and go back to sleep but know I won’t. I have a shower and wash my hair. I clean the hair out of the shower and make a point […]
MoreThursday thoughts on authenticity, perseverance and biscuits.
Afternoon all! Had some #deepthoughts today about persevering. God, it’s really a big one, isn’t it? So easily overlooked too. You might be on a huge journey right now (chances are you are, *cough* COVID *cough*) and I’m just here to remind you that you WILL REACH THE OTHER SIDE! The mountain you’re climbing at […]
MoreConceptualising freedom, growing waistlines and sweat.
Hi again, after today’s update I still had quite a bit I wanted to talk about so thought I would do yet another rambly post. I’ve been thinking a lot today about how my situation, of having to be in hospital in order to overcome my anorexia, is practically the exact same as everyone else’s. […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 20
Hey everyone, thought I would take a little break today from the usual Diaries format to let you know what happened at my CPA today. Sadly, the main thing is I probably won’t be able to get home for my birthday. This has really upset me but I’m trying to come to terms with it. […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 19
12:36 I can’t sleep. 3:30 I managed to sleep. Until now. One by one my pictures are falling off my wall. This has been happening now for about 20 minutes but I’m too lazy to actually get up and take them all down. Instead, I wait, hoping that each photo falling is the last and […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 18
5:45 I am woken up and weighed. I see the number and work out in my head how long it would take to reach my target BMI. I feel excited but sad. I try and go back to sleep but can’t. My mind is too busy. 6:30 I go to optionals and have a cup […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 17
7:45 Wake up. 8:15 For breaky I have 4 weetabix, toast with PB and jam and a coffee. 9:00 I am playing animal crossing and FINALLY my island gets the 3 star rating which means the concert will take place tomorrow. I’m overjoyed. I know immediately when this happens that it will go on my […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 16
8:00 Wake up and take meds. 8:15 For breakfast I have shreddies, toast with butter and jam and a coffee. A nurse tells me off for not having juice but I had finished it before she arrived. I’m embarrassed. She then tells me off for not putting milk in my coffee. I tell her I […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 15
7:50 I am woken for meds. I forgot to put my usual alarm on. 8:15 For breakfast I decide to have coco pops. This is a massive deal. I have been too scared to have them and it is the first time ever I’ve actually had a bowl of them. I have them warm and […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 14
5:45 I am woken up and weighed. I see the number and I’m shocked at the rate at which I’m gaining. It makes me scared but also happy because it means I’ll be out of here sooner. Speaking of, I’m already scared for my CPA on Wednesday. (A CPA is like the CTM on Mondays, […]
Morethe Inpatient Diaries: Day 13
7:30 I shower and get dressed. 8:15 Breakfast time. I (self-serve) a double bowl of shreddies (meal plan increase yay) and 2 slices of toast, one with butter and jam and the other with peanut butter. I get told off because I have only used half of the butter packet. I have only used half […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 12
7:20 I’m woken for meds. 7:45 I brush my teeth, get dressed and strip my bed. 8:15 Breakfast. Hot shreddies (cereal rotation day as Tuesday), grapefruit juice then one toast with PB and another with choccy spread. I consider going for jam but I worry I won’t like it as much as the chocolate spread […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 11
5:45 I am woken up and weighed. 6:00 I read for a bit and snooze. I worry about my CTM later on today. Only 4 hours. 7:40 My alarm goes off. I go and shower and get dressed. 8:15 Breakfast. Hot weetabix, grapefruit juice, peanut butter toast x2. The tables have moved round so that […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 10
Hello everyone. Thought I would post an update regarding my decision to leave or stay. I have thought about it so much and have finally realised that staying is the right thing to do. My options in the end were either to stay and find it impossibly hard and be upset temporarily, or get no […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 9
Hey everyone, there is no usual diary entry for yesterday I’m afraid as I had one of the hardest days ever and just didn’t feel up to writing at any point. I’m really sorry but hopefully I can get back into it today and try and explain a bit of what’s been happening. I hope […]
MorePacking for an Inpatient Admission – My Advice
Thought I would do a post explaining what I brought with me to hospital as I wish prior to my first voluntary admission I had known what was useful to have and what I should have left at home. Mind you, as previously mentioned on the blog, I have packed more than the average patient […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 7
Sidenote: I don’t want to go into too much detail about specific patients and nurses in the day-to-day diaries because I’ve recently become aware that some people are reading them! PS. Hi Bronnie 😉 05:45 I am woken and weighed. I know I won’t fall asleep again after this so I shower and wash my […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 4
5:30 I am woken up to be weighed. I groan and the nurse laughs at me. I have to go to the toilet with the nurse standing at the door to make sure I’m not water-loading. I’m weighed. I go back to bed but don’t fall asleep again. 8:23 Breakfast. I really push the boat […]
Morelet’s talk about anxiety
I thought I would do a post on the myths surrounding anxiety and debunk them. I get and have been so frustrated in the past when people make comments about anxiety that just show they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s so important that people try to understand mental health as much as possible […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 3
07:00 OMG. It can’t be. I’ve read it wrong. 7?! I haven’t slept past 5 in months. Today is going to be a good day. 07:10 I wash my face and have a “shower”. I get dressed. 07:30 Meds. The nurse on duty is the one who told me when I self-discharged during my previous […]
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The Inpatient Diaries: Day 2
05:11 I wake up. Why do I always wake up so early? This is annoying because it means the day will seem longer. 06:00 I realise I have nearly played animal crossing for an hour. I decide to go and have a shower. 06:25 That shower cannot be classed as a shower. It’s literally just […]
MoreChallenge jar
Hey everyone! Bit of a different post today because my day has been really boring and I read back on my “Inpatient Diaries post” and didn’t think there was much anyone would be interested in lol. So instead, I thought I would make a post about my challenge jar that I’m currently making. The idea […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 1
05:00 I slept! OMG I actually slept. Like without waking up. Amazing. Who knew? Overjoyed doesn’t even begin to describe it. Is it too early to text mum and tell her I slept? Probably. I’ll wait. 05:15 I go to the loo. The flush isn’t working. Ugh. That’s so annoying. Oh well. I put soap […]
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leith’s recovery 