leithgc
You’re special, but not THAT special…
But I’m special! Yes, you are special. Very special. But I’m telling you now, you are not the exception to all things eating disorder recovery-related. I used to think, and still occasionally do think, that the rules when it came to recovery somehow just didn’t apply to me. They applied to every other human being […]
MoreWe made it ❤️
I really, really don’t want this to be an “oh wow look how much I’ve achieved this year I’m saying all this to make people feel bad about themselves because nobody else in the world has done anything ever” post. 2020 was bad for everyone. We’re all glad its over. It was pretty horrendous. But […]
MoreAnorexia and rabies… (hear me out)
Pre-warning: right, this post is something a little bit different and I’m going to need you to just hear me out on this one. The concept of it came to me during one of my frequent sleepless nights, so it might be a bit rough around the edges but I hope you get the picture. […]
MoreQuestioning on Sectioning
As a few of you may know, in July of last year I was sectioned. It was under Section 2 of the Mental Health Act which means I could be held in hospital, against my will, for 28 days. I have decided to write a blog post on the subject because last week I was […]
MoreCrappy comments, the ‘no-period’ period and a general update.
I took it to insta to ask people what I should write about. I had several people asking how to deal with triggering remarks, a few on period concerns and some just wondering how I’m doing! So hopefully I’ll get to address all of those in tonight’s post. Let’s get to it! First of all, […]
More
Honest update – why I’ve been MIA
Hey friends. I know I’ve been MIA for a while. I’m sorry. If I’m completely honest I’ve been struggling. A lot. The ED voice was winning for a while and I’ve been scared. I felt hopeless and lost. I have the most amazing support around me but sometimes I just feel like I don’t want […]
MoreThe Outpatient Diaries: 29.06.20
9:30 I wake up and take Shuggs round the block. He barks at a young boy on a bike, awks. 10:00 I make a smoothie bowl and have some peanut butter. I am still very much craving peanut butter all the time. It’s actually crazy how much of it I eat and my body SCREAMS […]
MoreHearing voices and healing the mind.
This post felt appropriate because I’ve had so many comments recently regarding how I look and “how well I’m doing”. Yes, I’ve gained the weight. Yes, I look different. But also yes, I AM STILL STRUGGLING. Just because I’ve doubled my body weight (mmhmm. I’ve over doubled it) and eat ice cream now, doesn’t mean […]
More
The Outpatient Diaries: 19.6.20
8:31 Shuggs wakes me up by licking my face as always. I go downstairs and get a snack before taking him around the block. 8:50 I have breakfast. 9:15 I phone the GP about my back and they give me some strong painkillers and some exercises to do. I am getting really annoyed that I […]
MoreMy “bit-of-a-weirdo” ED habits and how I’m breaking them.
Ahh, it feels good to be writing again at last! I’m not really sure what I’ve been up to particularly, just living I guess! It’s been amazing. But, I do really want to get back into this blog business. So here I am! Today I thought I’d do a post on overcoming the hardest anorexia […]
MoreThe Outpatient Diaries: 18.06.20
[Side-note: I know, I know, I’m starting to do the daily diaries again. Surprisingly, it was frequently requested. It might not be as dramatic as the Inpatient Diaries but hopefully it will still be slightly interesting? Who knows. We will just have to see how this goes I suppose.] 8:20 Shuggs wakes me up by […]
MoreA rainy li’l update 💖
Hey everyone! I hope you’re well. Thought an update was due as I haven’t been doing as many blog posts recently. I hope to write a bit more from now though. I’ve not been as busy this week because of the weather but I’ve still had a lovely time. There have definitely been a few […]
MoreMy Recovery Promises
Because I am committed to full recovery, I promise to: Eat without restriction. Trust the process. Speak to someone when I am struggling. Not read labels. Use normal cutlery. Not eat at the same time every day. Show myself compassion, inside and out. Not body check. Not weigh myself. Have the same dinners as Mum […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #10
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: This is your permission to do the opposite today. And every day. If you’ve done it once you can do it again, and again, and again… No matter how scary it is. And it will become easier and you will become free. Do the opposite to whatever your ED tells you […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #9
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: Remind yourself every day to trust the process. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. It will save your life. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: I am my own superhero. TODAY’S SELF-CARE MOMENT: Went on a lovely walk with Phoebe. TODAY’S NOTE TO SELF: You have been through hell, you deserve to love yourself. […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #8
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: On those “I feel stuck” days do something – no matter how scary or how small – to show your ED that YOU are the boss. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: My actions define my happiness NOT the number on the scale. TODAY’S SELF-CARE MOMENT: Went to Starbucks with Immy. TODAY’S NOTE TO […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #7
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: Whether you are struggling and need help or see someone struggling who needs help – don’t be afraid to reach out. It’s okay not to be okay. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: A kind heart is the more beautiful than any body. TODAY’S SELF-CARE MOMENT: Saw my friends and had a pizza! TODAY’S […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #6
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: Be proud of every step you take. Keep stepping forward. It may not feel as if you are making progress but you’re doing great. One step at a time. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: I am proud of how far I’ve come and am excited for what I’ll do in the future. TODAY’S […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #5
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: Hold your head up. Research has proven the connection between poor posture and tiredness, especially in people with depression. It is found that by simply keeping your back and shoulders upright and holding your head up, it helps you to become more alert and less anxious. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: I trust […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #4
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: Your ED will twist everything you do or say to make you feel inferior, worthless and undeserving. This is how it gets under your skin and stays there; convincing you every day that you don’t deserve to eat, constantly comparing your body, food and life against some unachievable perfection. So cruel […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #3
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: You don’t have to wait until “Snack Time” to have a snack. If your body says “Please feed me” then you don’t have to wait for the clock to show a certain time. Eat when you are physically or mentally hungry. Any time is Snack Time. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: I love […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #2
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: It’s exhausting to battle every single day. Rest a while. Even the greatest warriors need to recharge their batteries. Give yourself a break. It won’t happen overnight so be patient. Rest, sleep, get more determined and NEVER give up. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: I deserve a positive life. TODAY’S SELF-CARE MOMENT: Had […]
MoreRECOVERY RITUALS #1
DAILY INTENTIONS TODAY’S MANTRA: If your body asks for seconds, you haven’t had enough firsts. It’s perfectly okay to eat more. You need more than, more than enough in recovery. TODAY’S POSITIVE AFFIRMATION: Each day my life is filled with love and joy. TODAY’S SELF-CARE MOMENT: Eat as much as you want, when you want! […]
MoreA rambly wobble – 1 week after discharge.
Hello lovely people. Long time no post. I thought I would give you all an update now that it has officially been over 1 week since discharge! Time really has flown by but hospital seems like a lifetime ago. I’ve had an absolutely incredible week; I’ve been on dog walks, done yoga in the sunshine, […]
MoreRecovery Q&A: Going “All In”, weight distrIbution and extreme hunger
I thought it would be useful for a few people to hear a bit about what life is really like now I’m in recovery. I must say as a side note though, this is the BRUTAL HONEST TRUTH and it probably doesn’t sound that lovely, but trust me IT IS WORTH IT! Q1. Would you […]
More
The Inpatient Diaries: Day 37 (final day!)
5:30 I wake up. I would normally get back to sleep at this time but I suddenly remember what day it is. MY LAST DAY! I get myself all excited and riled up, soon realising that the chance of getting back to sleep is now nought. 5:45 I decide to go and shower. Last ever […]
More
The Inpatient Diaries: Day 36
7:55 I wake up and get ready for the day. 8:15 For breakfast this morning I have hot shreddies and grapefruit juice followed by PB and choc spread toast and a coffee. Before I would have been too scared to have PB and choc spread after being told off yesterday but today I felt stronger […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 35
5:45 I am woken and weighed. I’m still a healthy weight! Get in there. Last weigh-in ever! (Apart from Monday but I’m not counting that). 6:00 I try to go back to sleep but I can’t stop thinking about how it’s only 4 more days! Today should be relatively busy so fingers crossed it goes […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 34
7:55 I wake up. I had really, really weird dreams last night. I shudder thinking about them, lol. I get dressed and get my meds. 8:15 For brekkie this morning I have 4 hot weetabix, and a mix of grapefruit and orange juice (thought I would spice things up). This is followed by 2 slices […]
MoreThe Inpatient Diaries: Day 33
5:45 A nurse is knocking at my door. What do they want? It’s not Monday or Thursday so I can’t be being weighed… But I am. They tell me yesterday’s weight must have been inaccurate so they need to do it again today. I’m not really worried about it being below healthy but it does […]
More
leith’s recovery 