The Outpatient Diaries: 20.06.20

8:15 Shuggs wakes me up by licking my face. 8:45 Mum and I take Shuggs round the block. 

9:10 I have my brekkie. This still consists of about 4 courses which scares me a lot but I try and embrace it. 

9:45 I shower and wash my hair. 

10:00 Mum and I leave for Henny’s house where we have a lovely catch up and a coffee.

12:00 We leave Henny’s and head to the JR where I visit a friend from my old inpatient unit. She is in the same position as I was a few months ago. I have made her a big box filled with presents (all pink) and have decorated it. 

12:35 I arrive at the JR and speak to Hannah. I try and show her that recovery is possible. I feel sad remembering how ill I was but proud of how far I’ve come. I want more than anything for her to get better. 

12:50 I buy lunch from the M and S at the JR. It reminds me of my daily trip downstairs when I was there. It was the highlight of my day… I buy the falafel salad I used to always buy and give to the homeless guy in town when I was at college. 

2:00 I decide to go for my first run in recovery. I manage 5K but my pace is so slow. It’s frustrating that I’m so unfit but I know I have to start somewhere. I’m proud of myself. 

3:00 I do an online yoga class I booked a few days ago. It’s mostly lying down to be honest but it’s nice and it improves my mood a lot. 

5:30 I go to Phoebe and Rebecca’s house. We make some millionaires shortbread and dance around the kitchen. It feels like old times…

8:00 We order takeaway from Thaikuhn and eat it in the woods on a picnic blanket. We talk about deep stuff and just catch up a bit. I love them so much. 16 years of friendship and counting. 

9:30 Rebecca has been sitting on a wet patch. Her bum is soaking and it makes us laugh more than it should. She wants photo evidence that we’re not joking and Phoebe gets in on it “for comparison”.

9:45 We are walking back to Phub and Reb’s house but there is a bull on the path. We side-shuffle past it holding each other’s hands. Phoebe and I are terrified but Rebecca doesn’t seem phased. 

10:30 I drive home. 

11:00 Shuggs is outside and barking like mad. I panic a bit because I worry he is waking all the neighbours up. I go outside and can’t find him. The barking has stopped. I’m really, really worried now. I go and get Mum. 

11:05 Mum finds Shuggs. He’s now barking again. We go over and see what he’s found. It’s a hedgehog! He tries to eat it but due to spikey reasons he can’t. He is going crazy now. Mum and I try to get him inside. Not happening. 

11:10 Mum nominates me to pick up the hedgehog. I’m scared. I go and get some gardening gloves and scoop him up. Shuggs is still trying to eat him. I put him round the other side of the garden where Shuggs can’t reach. 

11:30 Shuggs has finally calmed down a bit. I go to bed.