The Inpatient Diaries: Day 35

5:45 I am woken and weighed. I’m still a healthy weight! Get in there. Last weigh-in ever! (Apart from Monday but I’m not counting that).

6:00 I try to go back to sleep but I can’t stop thinking about how it’s only 4 more days! Today should be relatively busy so fingers crossed it goes by fast.

7:55 I get my meds, shower, get dressed and brush my teeth. I realise that I’ve nearly got through my second full tube of toothpaste since being in hospital. Sad.

8:15 Breakfast is hot shreddies and grapefruit juice followed by a coffee and PB and choccy spread toast. I get told off for putting too much chocolate spread on my toast. I disagree because it’s supposed to be a full tablespoon and because I used a knife (free-pour perks) I dipped it in twice. I try not to let it upset me, offer to take some off (the nurse says no) and then just get on and eat it. My head is screaming at me but I try and ignore it. I can’t wait to leave. Only 3 more brekkies now. I can do this.

9:00 I facetime Mum and write challenges to put in my challenge jar. It’s fun thinking about all the yummy foods I’ll get to eat and they don’t really feel as scary any more which is awesome.

10:00 It’s that time of week again. The joy of joys which is tai chi. All jokes aside, it is actually so nice to be outside in the sun and following someone in a yoga-sort-of way. It does make me sleepy though… And don’t panic, no soup was spilled today.

10:42 I go back to my room and continue tying little bows around each challenge for my jar. It’s fiddly but it passes the time which is always a good thing in here.

11:00 Snack is a twix and a banana. I forgot how good twixes are!

11:25 Community group. We talk about the impact of social media in our recovery but nobody really has anything to say. We also talk about how we get to see a member of our families this weekend. People are worried because they look different from the weight gain. I can relate to this but I try not to overthink it. I hope people would be more happy to see me than to care about how I look?

12:00 Lunch is a cheese and tomato sandwich and salad, followed by a strawberry cheesecake pot.

1:00 I facetime Jade and finish off my challenge jar whilst she colours in.

2:00 DBT group which this week is about “Improving the Moment”. I find it relatively helpful and like one of the strategies which is “take a holiday”.

3:10 I am back in my room after DBT when the occupational therapist who ran the group comes to my room. She tells me how different I seem since my previous admissions and how proud of me she is. I nearly cry. She wishes me good luck for going home and says she’ll miss my contributions in the groups. This makes me feel really proud of myself because I find talking in the groups scary but I have made a big effort this week. I’m so glad she’s pleased with me.

3:20 I show my friend next door my challenge jar that I’ve made. She loves it and is going to make one filled with affirmations for her daughter. I love that idea too.

3:30 Snack is a banana, choccy nesquik and 3 fig rolls. I didn’t actually want hot milk today, I’d have rather had juice, but the nurse had already heated it up for me as that’s what I usually have and I felt too bad to turn it down…

3:45 I watch Girls Incarcerated on Netflix that I started last night. It’s incredible…. 10/10 binge-watch worthy.

4:15 Relaxation group in the garden. Except minus the relaxation part because it is boiling hot and there are ants running up my legs and arms. I can’t sit still and I think the moment is ruined.

4:50 I go for my walk and pick up all the rubbish I can find in the Warneford Meadow. Turns out there is a lot of rubbish in the Warneford Meadow… I can only carry 2 empty beer bottles, a ripped up packet of crisps and an empty diet coke (if only it were full….).

5:15 I do my yoga and treat myself to a little savasana at the end. Lol.

5:45 I watch a few minutes of The Chase with Mum. They win £60,000! Woohoo!

6:00 For tea tonight I have potatoes and meatballs followed by a yoghurt and a banana. I get told off for breaking off my banana before eating it. WTF. Someone at another table throws their potatoes. Drama.

6:39 I facetime Mum and play animal crossing.

8:00 We clap for the NHS.

8:20 I show a nurse my blog and talk her through each one.

8:50 I facetime Mum again and we watch The Big Flower Fight (where contestants make huge flower arrangements/sculptures).

9:15 Night snack is 3 weeatbix and a banana.

As I write this I have 83 hours left until I go home! Eek! Only 3 more full days and hopefully tomorrow will go by reasonably fast as Saturday I’ll get to see Mum again! Not much else to report… Night all xxx