The Inpatient Diaries: Day 26

7:55 I get up, get dressed, wash my face and have a shower.

8:15 Breakfast today is cereal rotation so muesli, toast with PB and choccy spread then of course grapefruit juice and coffee. I think about how much I want a hot chocolate. I can’t wait to get home and have as many as I like.

9:00 Nutrition group today is led by the dietician and is on “The Importance of Food”. She asks us to rate out of 10 how essential we think food is. I put 8. A few people say 0 which I think is stupid but most people say about 7. Interesting. She obviously wants us to say 10 but nobody does. I wouldn’t say 10 because even when I was my illest and not getting any nutrients, I was still alive. My quality of life was shocking, yes, but I was still alive. I become sad thinking about how I was living for such a long time. I fill the rest of the time of the group thinking about my recovery bucket list for my post later, which cheers me up a bit.

10:05 Oh joy, it’s that time again. Sandwich making group. We go up to the kitchen in pairs and are told how to spread margarine and how to put a spoonful of egg mayo on 2 pieces of bread. Thankfully, the dietician gives us a booklet reminding us how we do it for when we are at home. That’s lucky.

11:00 Snack is an apple, a tea and the dry and a-bit-gross golden syrup cake. Sounds lovely in theory. Isn’t.

11:20 We go to community group. People complain about wasting cereals. Again. To be fair, it is extremely frustrating when a patient chooses cereal, pours a bowl then changes their mind 4 or 5 times so each bowl has to get thrown away. In my opinion you should just have what you chose? Who am I to say…

11:50 I go back to my room and watch Youtube videos of girls who have recovered. I get excited about going home but it feels so far away. Just gotta plod on I guess.

12:30 Lunch is tikka masala which reminds me of the time in isolation I had it in my room and made the whole place stink. Thank God I’m out of that room now. If I could get through that, I can get through a few more weeks in here. After the curry we have jam sponge and ice cream. To be fair, it’s decent. Followed by a cup of tea.

1:10 I wonder about being a day patient and want to bring it up but I will have to wait until I’m weight restored first which is really, really frustrating. I just wish it could all happen sooner so I can get home.

1:30 I facetime Phoebe T and we sing loads of songs which we like but don’t know the name of. My heart feels full.

2:30 The loos have just been opened (thank goodness because I’m busting) but the two on my side of the ward are out of order. I go to one on the opposite side but the light is broken. I’m so desperate that I don’t care. But it’s literally pitch black. If I go and get a nurse they probably won’t be able to fix it anyway. Going to the loo in the dark is a new experience. One which I don’t recommend. Let’s leave it there.

2:40 I go for my ground leave. There are loads of people out which is weird because I heard that there’s this thing called Corona virus going around. Who knows.

3:15 I wash my hair.

3:30 For snack I have a banana, strawberry nesquick (hot) and mini cheddars. I’m annoyed because you’re not allowed a tea with this snack. Imagine being able to eat and drink whenever you like. Madness.

3:50 I go back to my room and watch a bit more Youtube. Whilst I watch I write my bucket list for recovery and make a genuine pact to myself that I will do every single thing on that list. And I will.

4:15 I facetime a friend who has just been admitted (today) to an inpatient unit in London. We are in this together.

5:00 A patient plaits my hair and we listen to music together. She invites me round after we have both been discharged to meet her daughter.

5:55 Phoebe D messages me and says I should make a scrapbook and fill it with photos of me doing everything on my bucket list. I think that’s an amazing idea and I’m definitely going to do it. She also suggests, which makes my day, I go on GBBO… My excuse is I’ve never made bread.

6:00 Dinner is measly. It’s the egg mayo sandwich I made earlier, an apple and some BBQ hula hoops. The sandwich has obviously been in the fridge and is rather soggy which isn’t that pleasant…

6:55 I facetime Mum and Immy. Mum and I decide that for my birthday they will make our famous ice cream cake that we have at Christmas. It’s basically vanilla haagen dazs with crushed malteasers, buttons, crunchie, oreo and digestives with a hot peanut butter sauce. It’s even more incredible than it sounds.

7:45 We watch Celebrity SAS.

8:30 I do some Tintin colouring.

9:15 For night snack I have muesli, a banana and a tea.

9:50 I facetime Mum again and we watch TV before going to bed.

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