Yesterday I realised I had forgotten how to sing. Now, I don’t mean singing as in opera, or even in any sort of tune, I mean just singing because you feel like it. Singing when you’re in the shower, in the car, or when a catchy song is stuck in your head. I hadn’t done it in years and I didn’t realise. But yesterday, I learnt how to sing again. “One Dance” by Drake had been playing in the dining room thanks to my *fire* playlist (JK it actually sucks, it’s a lot harder finding music that’s appropriate and has absolutely no hint of sadness or fear in the lyrics – trust me I’ve been there), and I was back in my room feeling pretty good. Then, I sung. Out of tune, not to any sort of beat, no music, just singing. It felt amazing. Liberating. Normal. I think….. I might be……. starting……. to live again?
And singing isn’t the only thing I’m learning at the moment. Letting go is hard. Letting go means not dwelling on bad things that happen. It’s so important because we all have enough heavy things to carry around with us as it is. Also, grudges don’t look good on anyone. So, the million dollar question is: how the flip do we let go of the hard stuff? As I say, when it comes to nonchalance I am definitely a rookie. I struggle with guilt and concern on the daily and definitely ruminate way too much. But personally, I’ve found that the key to letting go lies in accepting that there will be ups and downs. Life is an incredible, amazing ride and we’re all lucky to be on it. Yes, ups and downs can make you feel queasy and scared sometimes – but they’re also what makes things exciting and fun. When you look back on your life, you’ll have let go of the sickness and fear and the exhilaration and buzz of the ride will stay with you much longer. Anyway, let’s be honest, even throwing up on yourself makes a pretty funny story.
leith’s recovery 