the Inpatient Diaries: Day 13

7:30 I shower and get dressed.

8:15 Breakfast time. I (self-serve) a double bowl of shreddies (meal plan increase yay) and 2 slices of toast, one with butter and jam and the other with peanut butter. I get told off because I have only used half of the butter packet. I have only used half the butter packet because usually I have flora instead of butter and when you use flora you use half a packet. This is a genuine mistake I have made but the nurse is telling me I did it because of my anorexia. I get frustrated. I apologise as sincerely as I can muster.

9:00 I facetime Immy and decide to make a quiz for the fam later on. (PS More than happy to send the powerpoint to anyone who wants to do a quiz but cba to make one!). This takes me a while as there are 70 questions….

11:00 Snack is BBQ beef hula hoops, an apple and a coffee.

11:20 I set up a Zoom call with the family and we do my quiz. It involves several rounds including “name that chocolate bar” (given a cross-section of the bar) “name that flavour crisp” (given the packet and colour) and “name that sweet” (given a picture of the unwrapped sweet). I worry that they will see these ones as disordered. Immy wins the quiz.

12:30 For lunch I eat fish fingers, chips, carrots and then chocolate mousse. It isn’t very nice and the fish fingers are definitely not the Bird’s Eye ones we all had growing up…

1:35 I facetime Phoebe and Rebecca and we watch a bit more of Camp Rock 2.

2:30 I take my 20 minutes ground leave. It is absolutely pouring with rain so I’m surprised I’m allowed out. It’s nice to get off the ward though and I enjoy myself.

2:55 I get changed out of my soaking wet clothes and put on trackies and a hoodie.

3:30 Snack time again. I have BBQ hula hoops (twice in one day, I know), a maryland and 2 gingernuts alongside a cup of tea. The patient on my table and I get told off for dunking out biscuits in our tea. I mean seriously though, who likes a crunchy ginger nut? They are built to be soggy.

4:15 I facetime Emma-Jane. The connection is bad so we get cut short before diving straight in to Desperate Housewives which we will both devour.

5:00 I phone Mum and we talk about how for my birthday we are going to have a home-made bottomless brunch. We’ll have cocktails and smoothie bowls and sweet potato and porridge and fruit and pancakes and toast and granola. This genuinely makes my heart feel full and I can’t wait. Just got to pray I get the overnight leave by then. I wish and I wish.

5:20 I find a tennis ball in the garden and throw it against the wall for a while.

6:00 Dinner is a jacket potato with chicken mayo and salad and then a strawberry muller rice. We are not allowed to have the muller rice warm.

6:45 I facetime Mum. I think about the bottomless brunch idea, which makes me excited again and Immy suggests we write a menu for it and dress up for the occasion. I tell her I have a skirt I bought from And Other Stories a while ago which I never was able to wear because it was way too big. I’m going to wear that. I can’t wait.

7:30 We are watching the final episode of Hunted.

9:15 Nightsnack was toast as usual and I really pushed the boat out by getting a decaff coffee instead of tea.

9:50 I facetime Mum again and dread being woken to be weighed tomorrow. But on the plus side, the bottomless brunch idea will be what I think about when I’m lying in bed trying to sleep and I know it will make me happy….