The Inpatient Diaries: Day 12

7:20 I’m woken for meds.

7:45 I brush my teeth, get dressed and strip my bed.

8:15 Breakfast. Hot shreddies (cereal rotation day as Tuesday), grapefruit juice then one toast with PB and another with choccy spread. I consider going for jam but I worry I won’t like it as much as the chocolate spread and then that would be a waste. Immediately I wish I had had jam.

8:55 Dammit I wish wish wish I’d had jam. I try not to dwell…

9:15 Nutrition group where we discuss cooking. I’m trying not to fall asleep. My meds have been changed and one of them makes me drowsy. Or at least that’s the reason I like the most as to why I’m dropping off.. We get given a sheet which tells us “strategies to help manage food preparation”, One of these strategies is “get someone else to cook for you”. Useful.

10:30 I am back in my room when the dietician finally arrives. She says I can start self-serving from tomorrow (starting with breakfast on Wednesday then lunch on Thursday and by Friday I’ll be fully self-serving) and will have to have experience doing this for at least a week before possibly moving to the upstairs dining room. This is a bit frustrating because I want to get upstairs ASAP but I guess there’s not much I can do… I tell her I also still feel hungry all the time so she increases my meal plan. I now am having more cereal at breakfast time alongside my 2x toast, an extra piece of fruit in the morning, double snack in the afternoon and a banana in the evening too. She tells me that without the lockdown restrictions, I would be having overnight leave by now. This is a fact that makes me hopelessly sad. I spend the next 45 minutes ruminating over what foods I would have eaten on my overnight leave and all the fun things I could have done with Mum and Immy. I wish more than anything for the restrictions to be lifted soon. Imagine all that fun stuff and yummy foods… (I do). She also adds that next week I’ll be starting Sandwich Making which is basically where you go to the kitchen with the dietetic assistant who tells you how to put ham in between 2 slices of bread. You think I’m joking? Exaggerating for comedic effect? Nope. You literally get “taught” how to put ham in between 2 slices of bread. Can’t wait. At least it will kill some time… The last thing she tells me is that Snack Out group, which is usually where, once on self-serve, you go to the Costa at the Churchill and get a brownie and a frappucino or something else yummy. But alas, COVID rules and Snack Out is now Snack In The Garden. Hmm. I raise an eyebrow at this but shake it off. I’m a bit annoyed though because I would have enjoyed the challenge of Costa and you can’t beat a slice of banana bread… The last thing I bring up is asking for normal milk instead of soya milk. This is actually a huge deal to me because I have always had soya milk here. I feel like I’m making progress. 🤗

11:00 Snack is lemon drizzle cake and a banana and a coffee. I’m telling you now, you probably have an image of lemon drizzle cake in your mind and you’re probably thinking “ooh that sounds lovely”. Sounds lovely. Isn’t lovely. There is no lemon. The cake is painfully dry. The granulated sugar crust is so sweet it actually makes it quite hard to eat. I close my eyes and think of oreos, sweet potatoes and granola. I think of all the yummy cooking I can have once I leave. I get on with it and finish the cake.

11:25 Community group. The only slightly interesting topic that is discussed is whether or not we would be allowed to have the baked beans on the side of our toast rather than on top of the toast. They say no and we leave.

11:45 I try and nap.

11:50 I can’t nap. If only I had Mum’s ability to nap. I facetime Phoebe instead and she tells me all about her wild cheerleading dreams. I love our chats. 💞

12:35 Lunch is some sort of meat-y meatballs with squidgy, mushy pasta and sweetcorn followed by plum crumble and ice cream. The ice cream is they yellow type with ice again. It’s the best part of the meal.

1:15 I facetime Immy and we watch YouTube videos on how to make your own tapioca pearls for bubble tea. I seriously consider the possibility of replicating this when I get home. I pull myself together and give myself a reality check. This is boredom at it’s finest.

1:38 Immy and I are watching another episode of Outer Banks.

2:30 I play Mario Kart on my nintendo switch. I fall off rainbow road several times.

3:30 Snack is salt and vinegar hula hoops (there were no beef ones 😭), a banana and grapefruit juice. I ask the nurse if I can swap the banana for a different piece of fruit because my optional piece of fruit earlier on was also a banana, and I’ll be having a banana at nightsnack, because I didn’t realise we had to have a banana now. She tells me no. I shut up and eat my 1/3 of today’s bananas.

3:40 I ask for a cup of tea. They say no; I get silently livid.

3:55 I am back in my room. I watch more stupid YouTube videos and try to kill some time. I can’t help watching the clock though. Minutes feel soooooooooooooooo long. Ugh.

4:15 I am on my phone. I see more and more people running 5K for charity. This makes me really sad. More than anything I want to join in. I’m jealous and spiteful. I think of the marathon Immy and I are going to run once I’m recovered. I try and cheer myself up.

4:30 I take my 20 minutes ground leave.

5:00 I phone Mya.

6:00 Dinner is a tuna sandwich, a packet of hula hoops (no beef ones still, cry), an apple and a cup of tea. As always, I return to the ward before most people have started their crisps.

6:38 I facetime Mum. We watch Hunted and I play animal crossing.

7:39 Mum takes Shuggs for a walk so I wait for her to get back. I think about the fact I would be going with her if I was at home. I get a bit sad.

7:55 I facetime Mum again and we watch New Amsterdam (an incredible medical programme, highly recommend).

9:15 Nightsnack is the usual. (You should know this by now…) It’s toast, one with PB one with choccy spread, a cup of tea and also a new addition of a banana. I slice the banana and put it on my toast. Happy tum.

9:45 I speak to mum and we watch TV before going to bed. Guess what! Another day down… woohoo!

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