Hey everyone, there is no usual diary entry for yesterday I’m afraid as I had one of the hardest days ever and just didn’t feel up to writing at any point. I’m really sorry but hopefully I can get back into it today and try and explain a bit of what’s been happening. I hope everyone is safe and well and has a lovely day in the sunshine though. I think my day will involve watching all the High School Musicals and playing Animal Crossing for hours (so pretty normal to be honest) to cheer myself up a bit.
All I can say for now is that I’m really struggling and am considering leaving tomorrow due to numerous factors that have arisen over the past few days. I don’t think being here is helpful for me as I am having numerous daily panic attacks and am crying constantly. I have considered all the alternatives greatly and spoken to the nurses but ultimately I will find out tomorrow in my CTM what happens next. I really hope I haven’t let everyone down as I know my family is disappointed in me but luckily I have found a place to stay for now.
I can’t stress enough that this is not me giving up. The endpoint (being a healthy weight) is still the same and I will still get there, I’m just taking a different path that’s healthier for me. I hope you can understand this and support my decision.
Thank you and sorry.
Lots of love as always,